Ruby Usman

Ruby was born in the slums of Karachi, Pakistan. She has experienced sexual abuse at the hands of many men as a child; some of them strangers and others, close family members. She grew up as a Muslim woman and experienced violence as an integral part of society and culture. She now writes about these traditions and hopes that by starting these debates, a new face of Islam is revealed. A new Islam with love, compassion and forgiveness for ALL irrespective of their gender, race and colour.

8 Comments

  1. Robert
    September 9, 2017 @ 5:49 pm

    From my own experience. Perpetrators will inhabit a world of fantasy and un-reality and tell themselves self-serving stories about their actions and the impact (or lack of it) on their victims. Only when they are confronted by the seriousness of their actions, exposed to public condemnation and the possibility of severe punishment do they have a chance to see themselves clearly (some, in fact, kill themselves when their activities are exposed). Without exposure and punishment they are free to continue in their self-delusion and to keep destroying the lives of children.

    • Ruby Usman
      September 15, 2017 @ 10:48 am

      It has been a very interesting and mind boggling exploration for me. I agree with you that perpetrators need to confront their actions. I think I struggle that we stop there. There are some fundamental experiences and factors that stimulate a person to become a perpetrator. I feel that there is where we need action as well.

  2. Sarah Choujounian
    September 13, 2017 @ 9:27 pm

    I agree with you Ruby, were doing it all wrong. We live in a Capitalist world where only money is important & as we all know, our jails are for profit so somebody has to fill them up so our society & culture thrive on people being raised in violence, poverty etc…. ?
    Nice post ?❤️✌️

    • Ruby Usman
      September 15, 2017 @ 10:49 am

      Thanks Sarah
      I just feel that punishment is not enough. We need to do more

  3. Caroline Abbott
    September 22, 2017 @ 6:49 am

    Good provocative question. I believe we all long for justice when we have been wronged. God says to let him get revenge. Trusting him to do that and letting go is a challenge. While we may not get revenge, I still encourage people to let the court system hold their abusers accountable if at all possible. Many DV offenders are put in offender groups. These share information, fellowship and accountability with these perpetrators. This is one model I know of, and it seems to work to some extent.

    • Ruby Usman
      September 22, 2017 @ 7:26 am

      Very well said Caroline. There are many ways to seek justice but I think as long as survivors make a clear distinction between their own healing and seeking justice, there shall be more healing in the world

      • Robert
        September 22, 2017 @ 8:10 am

        In a Greek village a man raped a child. Her father and brothers killed him and buried him in an unmarked grave. Something in me feels the rightness in that though I cannot justify the feeling.

        • Ruby Usman
          September 22, 2017 @ 10:45 am

          Yeah, I relate to that. Part of me feels quite justified too. And the other part of me wonders what inner demons and what circumstances created this rapist and how many more….