Chester, Chester – A Poem

I met Sonia Trimmingham through the facebook group “Healing from Abuse” when she shared this poem with all of us.

I must say that I am moved in ways that are beyond description. I am amazed at how similar our stories are. I am inspired by our strength together and I am hopeful that by sharing and by opening up, we all are healing together.

I invite you to get engrossed in this world of sharing if you have been affected by childhood sexual abuse and I promise you that you will feel all of our energies in you. You will not feel alone.

Chester, Chester

** by Sonia Trimmingham from Connecticut, USA

You have no idea what you’ve done to me

the damage you have created

the broken person I have become

No idea how it has affected me

the relationships that have been severed

my self worth diminished

You have no clue how much you’ve changed me

the distorted way I view the world

unable to trust, to love

Clueless to how you’ve molded me

into an inverted, confused girl

struggling with doubt and rebellion

You don’t know how much I hate you

you’ve destroyed what I could have been

the happy, confident person I long to be

Don’t know how much you’ve hurt me

nightmares and fear follow me

the flashbacks occur all too often

All for a little thrill

a selfish need for satisfaction

not taking into consideration

my feelings, my resistance

not realizing that I will one day be a woman

scorned and guarded

All for some instant gratification

that didn’t mean much to you

the scheduled violations

when no one was around

the sour feeling I got in my stomach

every time you touched me

So all should be forgiven?

my emotional trauma should just be discarded?

I should move on with my life?

It’s not that simple

I want you to feel the pain I felt

I want you to hurt like I did

I want tears to stream from your eyes

as I’ve cried many nights

Then and only then

can I begin to heal.